Do you know what burning desire is? Have you ever wanted something so bad you were in pain? I mean pain in the worst way. Your soul was consumed by a dream. That’s all you ever thought about, it’s all you ever wanted, it’s what you think of when you awaken and it’s what you see when you drift off to sleep.
Walk up to anyone and ask them what their innermost all consuming burning desire is. More than likely all you will get in return is a blank stare. See, most don’t have one. Yea, they have 8 or 9 tiny wishes maybe but they don’t have that BIG ALL CONSUMING DREAM that burns so hard inside them it makes them cry in private moments because they want it so bad. So bad. English words are impossible to use to describe the feeling. There are no words in English to describe it. That all consuming fire, that all consuming desire, that all consuming dream that burns a hole in your heart so big it feels as if you are dying from lack of air.
I think that is the best way to describe it. Imagine if someone held you underwater, they are choking you and holding you down below the surface, with every second a pressure is building up inside you, something so strong that you will do anything and I mean anything to get air.
I remember as a young girl I heard someone say “When you want your dreams as bad as you would want air if held underwater then you will have them”. I didn’t understand that till a little later. But once I got the hang of it I knew it was true. I can’t tell you what your dreams are. If I told you mine you would probably laugh. You see, dreams are only important to the dreamer. I have had dreams come true that took 8 years to happen. And that was one of my dearest dreams. Once I casually mentioned it to a so called friend. She did not know it’s importance to me or how long it took to achieve. Her reaction was like “That’s cool, now what movie should we go see”. EXCUSE ME! Now do you see why you must, YOU MUST, keep your innermost burning desire dream a secret? Other people, even when well meaning, just do not place a high value on yours. Most of the time, if not all the time. Keep it a secret. Keep the fire inside you. When it does come true don’t expect pats on your back.
See, my dream was not done for applause. My dream that I carried for 8 years was done because that’s all I ever wanted. I did not expect applause or public approval. In fact I seriously doubt 98% of the people on this rock would even approve of my dream. But it was what I wanted, not them. I never had a doubt it would come true. I saw it finished every single day in my mind. I saw myself doing it every day when I closed my eyes for a few minutes. It was a fire inside my soul that consumed my very being. I’ll tell you one thing. That burning fire inside sure wasn’t going to happen if I worked inside some crazy office environment with all the petty politics.
I wish there was some way I could reach out and touch you and let you feel for 15 seconds that intensity that drove me. That consumed me. That pushed me on when all others turned back. Have you ever felt it? If you have there is no way to miss it. It’s not something like wanting a pickle from the fridge, it’s more like wanting air when held underwater for 3 minutes. Even then you would have to multiply that by 100 times to even come close to it. Burning desire? Close, but 1,000 times past that. See, in English there is no word for what I am trying to explain. Sure there are a few that kind of come close but the feeling I am describing is beyond words, it’s something else, it comes from somewhere else, some other place I cannot describe, a place where your dream does exist right this second. Is that so strange? Could there be a place that exists right now where your dream has already happened? In that place your dream is living, it’s real, as physical as this world. Yet that dream has not passed into this physical form world yet. Yea, now we are getting into metaphysics, physics and quantum physics. Are you ready?
For advanced as this rock is, or thinks it is, discoveries that stagger the mind have yet to reach physical form in this world yet. Let’s call it at 1/10 of 1% of what so called science has discovered yet. The other 99.9% has yet to be discovered. For all the glitz and glamor of technology this rock is as backwards and unevolved as an amoeba is to a physicist. Oh yes, this rock likes to think of itself as evolved, saintly, kindly with powerful technology. That’s because they cannot see anything else. If you only heard one radio station on a busted radio you would swear only one radio station exists. Anyhoos, this is getting a little deep. Maybe this is one for next time. Most people are not heavy into this. Quantum physics. Those guys are going places. The old guard has left and the new guard is coming up. Are you familiar with quantum physics and the numerous postulations? Can the mere act of observance or thought affect something that is not there? Can your thoughts affect something that you cannot see? Something you cannot bang with a hammer. You know those scientists always want something that they can bang on. If they cannot bang on it then it is not real. It’s only real when you can bang on it or capture it inside a jar. That is where scientists and Little Laurie part ways.
What if your thoughts do affect “something else” “somewhere else”. Is that so hard to see? Does a shortwave released in Texas affect a receiver 8,000 miles away? Think about it.
What will light your fire? What will turn it into an all consuming, raging bonfire deep within your heart? What?? I know what does for me but you must figure what works for you. I can’t tell you. I can’t sell you it. It has no price tag nor a name. It’s something you must look deeply within for. It’s not something that can be bought and traded for at wal-mart. It’s “something” deep, deep inside you waiting to get out, waiting to be released, waiting to take physical form. See, I’ll let you in on a little secret. This was never taught to you in schools or college. You won’t find it on tv or in newspapers. Your friends don’t know about it. Your parents don’t know about it. Very few on this rock do. Ready? Really ready? Then hang on.
The burning, all consuming intense desire you feel inside you for something IS REALLY THAT OBJECT ITSELF TRYING IT’S BEST TO REACH YOU IN THIS PHYSICAL WORLD. It wants to reach you just as bad as you want it. It just has not “formed” yet into this physical world.
Think about this very seriously. Look all around you right now. Stop reading this right now and look around the room you find yourself in. Look and observe every single object in that room as if it was the very first time you are seeing them. Finished? Good. Everyone single one of those objects you observed in your room moments ago at one time were only an image in someones mind. Every one of them bar none. First the thought or image, then the manifestation into physical. Every inventor in the world knows this simple fact. Now you do too. Every inventor in the world lives in the world I speak of. He or she visits that world in their mind and brings back objects they find. Every inventor. Do you think an inventor first saw a zipper in a store window then he/she invented the zipper?
I wish I could tell you what will create that fire deep within you. I really do. But it’s different for everyone. If I told you what creates my fire you would laugh at me I guarantee it. That’s why I have always kept it a secret. My fire starter will not work for you. You have to, you got to find it on your own. I discovered mine when I was around six or seven. It drove me everyday. I’ve thought about it ever since. It took a long time but it did arrive, when the majority said to forget about it and give up. See, what you will be doing most likely will not win you many votes. It won’t win you applause most likely. It will win your dreams and that matters most. What is your dream? What one thing deep inside your heart do you want to accomplish before you die? What is it that tears your soul apart because it has not happened yet. What do you think about for 18 hours a day? What do you dream about in your private moments when you close your eyes? What makes you cry in your most private moments because it has not happened yet? What is it that you think of the very moment you awaken? What is it that you dream about at night? 7 days a week, 12 months out of the year? What is it? Don’t you know?
My dream came true about 27 years ago. Since then I keep replacing that one all consuming dream with new ones. When those come true I will in turn replace them with others till the day I die. I have lots of little dreams but I always have that one great big dream that is so big it would scare most people. So big that most would laugh it off as ridiculous to even contemplate. Keep your dream to yourself. Nurture it deep inside. Tell no one. Not even your spouse, your parent or your best friend. Surprise them when it happens if you so see fit. But be warned, most will likely yawn when told. That’s why it is so very important to keep it deep within yourself and stoke the fires yourself.
Here’s one of my fighting songs. Who knows, it may fit you. Listen to the lyrics very closely.
Silhouette Of A Dream, Treasured By The Ones Who Hold On To It
L
Somewhere In Lake Chapala
“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”
This post was composed under the magical influence of Sara by Stevie Nicks
Thought For The Day - Who Said This?
“Thoughts mixed with definiteness of purpose, persistence, and a burning desire are powerful things.”
The year. 1974. The place. Dallas, Texas. The world. One that disappeared a long time ago…
*&!%@*!, how can 35 years go by in a blink of an eye? In my mind I can see every little detail from 74. I close my eyes and I AM THERE! The places I used to hang out, the secret places we would go only myself and and a close friend knew about. The car’s, the shopping centers, the clothes, oh boy the clothes. MG Midgets, MGB’s, Mach 1’s. Parties at Lake Ray Hubbard at the rope swing.
I dunno…do you have a vivid memory? Can you close your eyes and instantly you are transported in some sort of a time machine back to another year? Like a dream that seems so real to you until you wake up. That’s me. Whether it’s a curse or a godsend I’m not sure. I tend to think it’s a godsend in this current George Orwell type of existence.
Cue up Bennie and The Jets…
About 10 days ago I started having vivid dreams of my mother. I mean vivid. I mean going back way before 1974. It was as if I was 8 years old all over again. The old house, the old pets, the old friends, the old teachers, the old bicycle ride home from school. But most of all I would dream about those old days growing up with my mother. I don’t know why. The dreams started hitting me hard over a period of a few days. So vivid it’s indescribable. Do you dream in color? I do. Color that puts any Hollywood big screen to shame. The dream seems 100 times even more real than when you are awake. They were taking place somewhere, somehow in a manner I cannot explain.
Well, I did not think much of them at the time. Just another vivid dream for little ol Laurie. One of many.
A few days later I received word that my mother passed away.
Between the several recurring dreams and her passing a few days later I did not have the opportunity to speak to her. It’s not like I call my mother every couple days. We each had our own views on life which were vastly different, yet at the same time she was my mother and did her very best to raise me into a smart young woman ready to take on the world.
Cue up Rock Your Baby by George McCrae…..
So I have sort of spent the last few days thinking about those dreams. I will always wonder if maybe, somehow it was sort of a goodbye. Even though I fought with my mother growing up like cats and dogs and had basically totally opposite views on everything I respect her as a mother doing a difficult job with the materials given her. Most of you reading this probably had great parents growing up. I never went to bed hungry, I never went to school in rags, I always had presents under the tree. But I never had that deep relationship that most children had with their mother growing up. My relationship could more be likened to sparring partners than mother-daughter.
Later we mended things up a bit. But there was still that tiny bit of edginess. That tiny bit of disapproval that seeped into her tone of words. I guess she always wanted me to be a normal daughter that married the first guy that asked her, popped three or four kids out and settle down with a big shot Dallas lawyer. I’d throw up if I had to live that life. I’m happy the way I live right now thank-you very much. That’s the part I am sure irked her her entire life. She never came right out and said it but you could feel it if you know what I mean.
Cue up Black and White by Three Dog Night….
So here I sit remembering the dreams I had of her a few days ago and her passing following those dreams. For all I know I might have been dreaming when she passed away. They occurred over several days near and at the date she passed away. I really don’t believe in all this hocus pocus ouija board type of stuff but I did have a girlfriend that told me what happened at her brother’s bedside when he passed away. It gave me goosebumps hearing it. If what she saw and if what she told me was a figment of her imagination or if it really did happen is hard to say.
I will say this. A 26 year old man was tragically killed by gunshots inside a bar. He was an innocent patron that did not know the gunman. The 3 year old son of the man that was killed woke up 6 hours later and was crying to his mother that he was mad at his dad. His mother asked him why. He said because he will never be able to talk to him again. His mother asked him how did he know that? The little boy said because Daddy came by last night and told him that.
Cue up Alone Again Naturally by Gilbert O’Sullivan……
Were the dreams a sort of final goodbye? Did two minds meet over 7,000 miles apart? Is there something more to us than this spacesuit we put on for 70+ years? Who’s to say. Even though we did not have the best relationship growing up what I regret the most is not getting a chance to say goodbye. Maybe those vivid beyond words dreams were somehow her way of saying goodbye. I got a chance to see her again in a way that is impossible to describe. Something so real it’s beyond words to describe the experience.
I was in that old house of ours, I was sitting at the breakfast table eating cheerios. My mother was across the bar from me making pancakes. Dressed in her favorite robe. There was a stack of 8 or 9 pieces of toast, some scrambled eggs and sausage and the paper opened to the comics section. The washing machine was going. I was so small I had to jump on top of the counter to reach the top of the fridge. My brother was watching the morning cartoons on the 21″ B&W with the funny rabbit ears. I swear I am not making this stuff up. I was really there. Yeah, my body may have been in a bed somewhere sleeping but “I” was somewhere else. A place so real you cannot explain it. A place where others upon hearing about it say “don’t worry hon, it was just a dream”. Well, I have a question for you. Is a dream just a dream? Is it just brain neurons firing off the imagination cells in your brain to concoct an experience that seems real OR is it possible, just maybe, for just a little while you are taken to another “place”, perhaps in a place that is yet understood by this civilization that is basically still at the savage level.
Did you ever see the movie by Jodie Foster called Contact?
In that movie Jodie Foster in a way I will not spoil for those that have not seen it, got a chance to visit her father who had passed away a long time ago. It was real beyond words to her, but to those others watching her, the experience lasted all of one or two seconds. So, the question is, did it really happen or was Jodie Foster just imagining things?
Were my dreams just a coincidence or was there something more to them?
Coincidence is a funny word. Circumstances that should not happen but somehow do. Multiple coincidences. The odds of that happening are astronomical yet they occur. Not once but multiple times. Beyond all odds of randomness. So far beyond randomness you have to ask yourself did something else have a hand?
I leave you with this set of coincidences and let you ponder the mysteries of the universe where no man has gone before.
Cue up Magic by Olivia Newton-John
The stories of identical twins’ nearly identical lives are often astonishing, but perhaps none more so than those of identical twins born in Ohio. The twin boys were separated at birth, being adopted by different families. Unknown to each other, both families named the boys James. And here the coincidences just begin. Both James grew up not even knowing of the other, yet both sought law-enforcement training, both had abilities in mechanical drawing and carpentry, and each had married women named Linda. They both had sons whom one named James Alan and the other named James Allan. The twin brothers also divorced their wives and married other women - both named Betty. And they both owned dogs which they named Toy. Forty years after their childhood separation, the two men were reunited to share their amazingly similar lives. (Source: Reader’s Digest, January 1980)
NOTE: our reader Linus wrote us after reading local newspaper Helsingin Sanomat: “Your story about the Finnish twins is missing some details: The first brother was killed by a lorry while riding his bike and crossing highway 8. He apparently didn’t notice the lorry in the snow blizzard. The second brother was killed by a lorry only two hours later while riding his bike and crossing highway 8. The second brother couldn’t have been aware of the first brother’s death, as the police was still trying to identify the victim.”
Twin brothers, killed on the same road, two hours apart
On 2002, Seventy-year-old twin brothers have died within hours of one another after separate accidents on the same road in northern Finland. The first of the twins died when he was hit by a lorry while riding his bike in Raahe, 600 kilometres north of the capital, Helsinki. He died just 1.5km from the spot where his brother was killed. “This is simply a historic coincidence. Although the road is a busy one, accidents don’t occur every day,” police officer Marja-Leena Huhtala told Reuters. “It made my hair stand on end when I heard the two were brothers, and identical twins at that. It came to mind that perhaps someone from upstairs had a say in this,” she said. (Source: BBC News)
P.S. I guess I am just too sentimental for my own good. I have a box of items that to most would be meaningless junk. A bunch of assorted odds and ends that would not bring $5 on Ebay. Yet a few times a year I will open that box, hold each one of those items in my hand then close my eyes and drift back. You ever do stuff like that? It’s funny how a 30 year old napkin with some scribbled writing on it will make you feel. It’s like a sweet mixture of pain, sadness, happiness, joy and regret all mixed together in a way that mere words lack to explain. You know?
I suppose that is one of the curses or blessings of a photographic memory depending on your view. My memory is so acute I can remember being in that tiny baby bathtub that fits in a baby changing table. I remember my mother bathing me when I must have been 9 months old or so. I remember being so small I could not even pull myself up in the crib using the bars. I remember dragging my little legs along the wooden floor getting burn marks on my tiny legs. That’s how acute my memory is. I remember what my mother’s face looked like when she was 23 bathing me. I dunno. I think most folks remember only going back to 4 or 5. I can go a lot further than that. Vivid photographic memories. Memories that hold meaning only to myself. I wish I could hold your cheek and those years of memories would flash in all their 3-D glory through your mind in a split second. Yea, since they are mine they would hold little for you but I’d love to show you what I can see so clearly in my mind as if they happened yesterday.
Now what I am going to tell you now you have heard a million times. I heard it too. And did not pay attention until it was too late. If your parents or parent is still alive drop what you are doing right now and call them. Now. Not tomorrow. Tell them you appreciate all the things they went through. Tell them no matter what happened in the past you know they always had your best interests in mind. Ask them to tell you some story about yourself that you have forgotten. Just listen to their voice. Take in their voice and let yourself drift back in time with them. Ask them to tell you another story and another. They may ask you what has gotten in you. Just tell them Laurie has gotten into you.
L
Somewhere In Texas
“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”
This post was composed under the influence of the above 6 songs
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